im so sorry, but not really. ('straighten up and die right')

friday, july 07, 2006

i said i want to be rebuilt like a frank lloyd wright only without all of the water damage.
or painted over like a monet only less blurry.
she said "no, youre something different".
like what?
"something better".
it gave me the rush of warm blood like you see in cartoon dogs right before their eyes pop out and all of the bells go off.
my head is spinning like a car off of an icy guardrail.
show me what you are made of.
your eyes were always rolling but youd titlt your head so they were somehow always still stuck on me (have your cake and eat it too).
i feel safe but not like a bet more like the way mothers feel when they lock the car doors in bad neighborhoods.
i am blue waves across the red rootlike veins in the bodies drawn flat in medical books. i wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about my insides.
when i met you i gave you a name- not your own- bu in my head so i wouldnt ever mix you up with anyone so ordinary- i cant tell you- but to me it meant salvation.
you only wanted reaction.
but i cant be bothered.
not anymore.
ill see you in the spring. first pew on the left. wear your white veil and dont forget the words.

warped tour. sun drenched days. bestfriends. new roads.

so long salvation.

dont worry your pretty little heads.

i am sleeping safe tonight.

posted by xo @ 11:40 PM